During my short time on earth (ok, compared to my grandmother that I saw yesterday) I realized that I have lived my life with SO MUCH pressure. And I have no one to blame but me.
Yes, I have faced more challenges than most people my age and at times I thought I could not handle it.
In all honesty life has never been easy- being bullied as a child, parents divorcing, growing up as a teenager with a super strict dad, loosing my grandfather who was my idol in high school, secondary infertility, and complicated health issues the past 5 years. Most of it I have overcome, but if I think back the bitterness still lingers.
But sometimes the hardest part of dealing with your problems and issues is to finally acknowledge them. Anybody who knows me well will now that when it comes to problems in my personal life, I just ignore and disregard them and then start to focus SUPER hard on my job. It takes my mind of things and I don’t have to deal with it. In a way it has been a really good thing business wise- clients have an account manager working on their marketing campaigns for more than 12 hours a day. Good for them, but bad for me.
Sometimes in life we do things like the above that seems completely insignificant, and we don’t think about the consequences of our actions (or lack thereof). This is how it is for me- I feel like I am limitless, but I know that it is not true.
And sometimes I end up feeling empty. I feel not good enough (Pinterest Syndrome!), friendly enough or helpful enough.
But to snap back to reality- what do I have? I have EVERYTHING. But most of the time I am just to blind to see it.
So during this year I am focussing on my dreams and what is important to me- my family and friends, the Ad Agency that has always been my dream since I did my internship in 2007, and PiPaPo, that encompasses all the things that I am so passionate about- baby wearing, natural parenting and cloth diapering.
I am simplifying my life. BIG TIME. I discovered minimalism and I am applying it to my life. I can manage 10 clients at a time. I can only have two kids and two dogs. I can only give my attention to so many friends, I am only in contact with family that supports me and I give them my full support. We need to turn ourselves around and stop beating ourselves up. You also need love- from yourself.
If you’re also going through a hard time, remember:
Even when you think you are lost, hold on.
When you feel all alone, hold on.
If you love someone who doesn’t love you, hold on.
If you are ill and you cannot see the light, hold on.
If you have lost everything you care about, hold on.
If you feel you are less than anyone, hold on.
If you’re not sure you have any reason to live, hold on.
It doesn’t matter- whatever your problem, your suffering or situation you are facing currently- remember the words “that too shall pass.” Nothing stays. It is like the seasons- we have to experience it all to become the person we should be.
“The world is full of suffering. It is also filled with overcoming it.” -Helen Keller