To the depressed mom:
May 5, 2017
It is okay if you are sitting at work right now staring blankly at your screen. It is ok if you are at home curled up in a ball- looking but not seeing. Trying not to feel. Empty. Tired. Overwhelmed.
It is okay if the only thing you did today was trying to figure out where you fit into the universe. You think that almost everyone around you has figured out theirs, and you’re just there, trying to survive… They all seem to have it together.
I know you’re just scared. You’re scared because you think you’re never good enough. You’re scared because you see other moms already doing well and you’re not even halfway good. You feel like you are not coping. You’re scared because you think about what others will say about you. You’re scared to end up failing. You’re scared that once they see how much of a failure you are, people will start to leave you, even those who once believed in you. You’re scared, and I understand.
But let me tell you this: You’ll make it. I swear, you will.
So if you feel like crying right now, it’s okay, go ahead and cry. I know you feel like a mess at this moment, but hey, everyone messes up sometimes. We all have our off days (and sometimes months and years on end). It’s okay to feel lost. Because I know you’ll eventually find your way out. It’s okay if right now you feel like you’re not the person you’re supposed to be, because I know that you’ll figure it out one day. It just takes time, please be kind and patient with yourself.
It’s okay if you feel like you’ve failed yourself and your children a lot of times already. One day, after all the tries and failures and cries, you’ll finally make it. And you’ll see that the people who love you never lost their faith in you.
I am asking you to not give up—never. Your heart may feel heavy and bruised right now and your mind may have thousands of thoughts inside running endlessly, but you have to keep going. You have to, no matter how scary and much of a struggle it may be.
I am proud that you found the strength to read this because that means that you’re trying to tell yourself that you can do this through all of these words. So if there are times that you feel like you’re about to just turn around and give it all up, remember this: You are not a failure. You are on your way. You’ll be proud of yourself someday.
You are nothing less than the stars.
With all my love,