Why working moms cry…
A new survey by Care.com has found that one in four working moms cry once a week due to the stress of “having it all.” What’s more interesting is that 29 percent of these moms can afford to hire help, but won’t because they feel too guilty. So now I would like to know what is the source of this guilt and stress.
I personally feel it is because we want to be super mom. I can relate to that. I want a clean house, happy balanced children, a fulfilled social life, a husband that feels valued and I want happy clients. But as I am writing this nothing can be further from the truth today. There was a miscommunication in regards to the design for an advert. The client hates me right now and called an emergency meeting. It is 13:00. I promised Kiki that as soon as she gets home from school we are going to bake muffins. As I am hurrying out of the house she cries. And I feel like crap.
Care.com polled 991 working moms for its 2014 Tipping Point Survey and found that 80 percent of moms feel stressed about balancing childcare, work, home and relationships — which makes sense if you consider that these women reported spending 80 hours on home responsibilities in addition to work. No wonder many of them are regularly breaking down in tears.
I am just tired of people (I really know they mean well) telling me that in order to look after my family I need to look after myself first. That is good advice but how on earth am I suppose to do that? When should I find the time to do my nails/ soak in the bath if I have 2 little people depending on me?
But I found some tips today, like give tangible examples to your partner of what you need from him or her. Instead of saying I am so stressed, I don’t know how to do this, ask them to help you with a specific task. If you’re saying, ‘I need you to handle breakfast for Zoe so that I can get out the door to drop Kiki off at school and go to work earlier and come home earlier,’ then it’s a partnership. It is asking for help.
And don’t compare yourself to other moms, we are not the same and we do things differently. My house might be spotless clean but my car is a mess. You never know.
Even though the study was done in the USA, I think we SA moms are not to far behind. We are spread thin. We are tired. We feel stressed, guilty and fragile.
I wish I had all the answers on how to make it better, but I can only try. I am searching for the balance that will work for me. And I know I will find it. And you will too!