We have to choose our battles. We have to pick the ones that are really worth fighting for and let everything else go. You don’t have enough time on this planet to be right about everything – because usually when you try to be right, you give away your happiness. Funny how that works.
Aristotle once said, “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” I think we should take that lesson and apply it to every single aspect of our lives. We try so hard to be right about things thinking that will give us some sort of long term happiness. What I’ve found time and time again is that life is about compromises and sacrifices, not about being right. You have to give a little to get a little…and when you give a lot, that will come back around to you in time. It might not be right away, but it will. Life works in mysterious ways.
Just because you wouldn’t do something or won’t settle doesn’t mean that the other person was wrong. In fact, there are countless other perspectives out there for people to be a part of. Endless amounts really. Your way isn’t the way. And this might be a frustrating concept (especially if you are anything like me!) …but there is no way. We go through this life doing what we think is best for us, and for those who have some type of insight into their life…they adapt and adjust along the way to do what feels right. And the hardest part is when what is right for them is not right for you.
I am learning every single day. In fact, these days I am far more awake than I have ever been. I am digging into my life more than ever before and I love that. I’ve been called deep because my mind always starts traveling down this windy road…and sometimes that’s a little much… but I can’t help it. It’s who I am. It’s what I am. I didn’t used to be this way. In fact, I used to be complete action and reaction. Something would happen…boom there was my explosive response – whether it was good or bad. Living that way was killing me. It was taking everything out of me and I couldn’t do it anymore. So, I had to make a change.
January 2, 2017 was that day.
That day will forever define the rest of my life because I decided that I was far better off doing personal cave diving than ignoring what was inside. I go deep into myself because I know it matters. I know it matters because the things that I have learned about my life… the list of lessons…is pretty close to endless. I decided to be honest about my life. What is working and what not. Those battles you decide to pick, make them for something not against something. Fight for something. Fight for a dream, a vision but don’t fight against those things. Don’t be your own worst enemy. Find a way to compromise with people and life. You can’t bludgeon things into submission. Stop fighting people and their shit that drives you mad. Let them be. And you will be happier too. You can’t flock a dead horse- you just can’t. And it hurts. Trust me. But it gets better with time.
I have discovered so much about myself, people and life in general. I can in all honesty say that I have LIVED this year. I completed my weight loss goals, worked harder than ever this year and it was satisfying. I found my passion being a doula and discovered that I am better at PR that I thought I would be. I tried new things, gone the vegetarian route (ok, most days) and found my peace. I made peace with the people in my life, on what is working and what is not. And in general life is better. And my kids are happier.
These are good days, very good days. They are about to get even better.