March 22, 2019
Yesterday I had to ask for a volunteer to work with me in second stage labour and you said yes. I got to the MOU scared. And as a doula, I know scared is not a good thing. It will be transferred to your mom you are working with. And I needed the help.
I was working with D. Contractions. PV. The worried look on the midwife’s face. The “H, we need to talk.” When a midwife decides to do that, I get worried. Because it can mean one of three things- transfer, swollen cervix or a dead baby. But you don’t have a choice. They want to talk to you. You go. You listen.
Today, I was thinking about yesterday. Sorry Meredith for leaving you at one point with just a “I need to go out with a for a while”. You have been such a great doula. To the mom and to me.
I stood outside and looked at the little Bible verse in my pocket. I prayed. I knew that as her birth support we are more than capable, and the mom will be fine.
Last week Tuesday a baby passed away. I got scared that day. I paced around delivery like an animal in a cage. One of the best midwives in the country came in. She did her absolute best. It still happened. I still have questions. I still don’t know why.
But today I had a hero soon to be doula step in.
And that is why we as doulas change the world.
Thank you, Meredith, for being there. For saying “DON’T PUSH” when I was chocking up. For staying so calm during that delivery. It was amazing to see.
And to all the wonderful doulas that spend their time volunteering at Hillbrow. I know it feels like it is too much sometimes. But you make a difference. You are doing such a wonderful job, and by choosing this career path you will change the world. One birth at a time.